Getting Over It
by frk-werewolf
Summary: Jayne, in an attmpt to rectify his own stupidity, takes Simon out as an apology. PostAriel. Pairing: JaynexSimon


Title: Getting Over It  
Fandom: Firefly  
Prompt: #2 Mens Rea (the guilty mind) for livejournal's tamingthemuse  
Pairing: Jayne/Simon  
Warnings: alchohol, men kissing, 1 curse word  
Rating: PG  
Word count: 1,274  
Summary: Jayne, in an attmpt to rectify his own stupidity, takes Simon out as an apology. Post-Ariel.

Author Notes: I can't write their accents to save my life.

* * *

It was a mistake, plain and simple. Jayne kept telling himself this, of course, but it just wasn't having the effect that he wanted it to. Jayne wasn't used to feeling guilty; it just wasn't done. Yet, there he was feeling like a piece of cow dung every time the doctor looked over at him.

At least Simon had stopped giving him that look of complete awe and semi-worship. Though, it had been flattering at the time--if not a bit disconcerting. Jayne wasn't sure what disconcerting meant exactly, but he had heard Inara say it once and he felt it applied here. All fancy words aside, Jayne was feeling as though he had something to prove to everyone. He was the mercenary, a paid weapon, but often times mercenaries were paid to protect a group of people. Somewhere in the back of Jayne's mind he had always given himself the label of protector when it came to the eclectic family aboard Serenity.

He hadn't applied it to Simon and River. Mostly the Tams kept to themselves, so Jayne never really thought about including them on his semi-act of protecting. That was before Mal nearly sucked him out of the ship.

Now Jayne was beginning to realize the error of his ways, thanks to an annoyingly guilty state of mind, and he didn't think a bushel of apples was going to cut it. No, he needed to actually apologize to the doctor--he didn't worry so much about River, she was too busy in her own little world to care.

Still insisting on the forefront of his mind that it was a mistake and he had nothing to feel sorry about, Jayne entered the infirmary one fine afternoon just as the ship began docking in a small backwater planet. Simon glanced up at him, refrained from showing his annoyance, and returned to organizing one of the cabinets. "Yes? What did you need?"

"Who said I needed anything?" Jayne said, his tone more harsh than he had intended. Simon frowned at him. "Just... Seeing what you were doing is all."

"Because you've often found an interest in my activities." Simon's voice dripped with sarcasm. Jayne was almost impressed. "If you need something, ask. I assume we're docking, which means yet another ill-repute town filled with bars and prostitution. Did you need some form of protection?"

Jayne took a moment to fight down the mind-boggling reaction his brain received at Simon asking him that, before snorting. "Nah, that isn't it."

"Then what is it?" Simon was starting to look frustrated.

"Thought we could go out," Jayne said.

"Out," Simon repeated. "As in...together?"

Simon seemed to feel this was the strangest thought to ever grace the universe. Jayne wanted to feel insulted, but he had to agree. "Look, you're too uptight. I figure I could take you to the bar and we could get a drink or two. Maybe I can even get you laid; you seem to need it."

"No thanks," Simon replied, turning away.

"C'mon!" Jayne walked over, immediately leaning into Simon's space. "The only other men around here are Mal and Wash. Now, Mal's too busy trying to find a buyer for those meds and Wash is too busy trying to get into Zoë's pants. What's a guy to do when he wants to go have a drink and some manly conversation?"

"Therefore, I'm your last resort." Simon, in Jayne's humble opinion, sounded unnecessarily bitter.

"Maybe, maybe not. Could be that you were my first resort and I just don't want you to know," Jayne snapped.

"What sort of logic is that?" Simon demanded in frustration. Closing the cabinet door, Simon turned to give Jayne a hard look. "Fine, I'll go."

Thus, Jayne found himself with a twitchy and overly nervous Simon following him to a rowdy bar at the edge of a small town, which he couldn't name if his life depended on it. This was good, or so Jayne told himself. He was one step closer to getting rid of all that guilt and maybe he'd have the entertainment of seeing Simon drunk.

Four hours and enough alcohol to drown a large horse later, Jayne found himself curled up in the corner of the bar with Simon. His arms were wrapped around the doctor, while Simon's head rested against his shoulder. Every once in a while Simon would let out a small giggle for no apparent reason. Jayne had decided somewhere between moving from the bar to where they were now that Simon made a cute drunk.

"I haven't done this since--" Simon hiccupped. "--I graduated from the academy."

"I do this every week..." Jayne trailed off. "Ish Funsh."

"Ish Funsh?" Simon asked, falling into a long series of giggles. Jayne grinned to himself. "I think you are drunk." Simon drawled the word 'drunk' out, nearly singing it. There was a pause. "I think I am, too."

"Light weight." Jayne muttered.

"I..." Simon seemed to be collecting himself for something. He let out a happy, drunken sigh. "I love you. I'm crazy, but I do. I even love watching you clean your guns on the kitchen table. You-you don't put up with me like everyone else. Except Mal, but he punches."

"I'm sorry," Jayne blurted out. Maybe he had had too much? Jayne gave a manly sniff. "It was me! I did it. I'm sorry. I know it was wrong and I'll never do it again."

"Jayne..." Simon paused to yawn. "What are you talking about?"

"Ariel," Jayne replied. Simon sort of stiffened in his arms. Jayne was sure that if the man hadn't been drunk off his ass then he would have actually jumped to his feet. Instead, Simon remained silent. Jayne assumed he was thinking, though the idea of thinking right that moment made Jayne's head hurt. "I'm shorry. Sorry. I'm sorry."

"I think I should go back to the ship," Simon whispered. Before Jayne could react Simon was scrambling out of his hold and moving toward the door in quick strides, bumping into a few tables along the way. Jayne jumped to his feet to follow, ignoring the few looks he received from the other costumers.

"Stop, gorram it!" Jayne growled when he caught up to him outside, grabbing Simon's arm. Behind the doctor Jayne could see Serenity, cargo doors open and waiting.

"I can't believe you!" Simon hissed, suddenly looking more sober by the second. "You tried to get my sister taken and who knows what they would have done to me! I can't believe... I trusted you, Jayne Cobb."

"I said I was sorry," Jayne said, a bit sullenly.

"Shit." Simon rubbed at the side of his face with his free hand. "I just told you, well, all of that stuff and then you turn around and inform me..."

"Would you rather me not say anything at all?" Jayne asked, frowning.

"You could have waited until a time when I hadn't just told you how I...feel," Simon muttered. He jerked his arm out of Jayne's hold. Jayne moved for him again. "Don't touch me."

Maybe it was the guilt that kept piling onto his heart and mind or perhaps Jayne just wanted to test Simon. He couldn't say for sure. Still, no matter the reason, Jayne found himself grabbing Simon by the shoulders and kissing him. Simon stilled in his grip, back as straight as a metal rod. Jayne tasted alcohol on Simon's lips, along with something that was undeniably Simon.

Suddenly, Simon pulled back and shoved Jayne as hard as he could. "No. I don't trust you, Jayne. Not anymore."

With that said, Simon turned on his heel and literally stomped back to the ship. Jayne watched him go, realizing how much he had screwed this up. Apparently getting over a little thing like guilt took more than an apology.


End file.
